< IMPORTANT: Read ‘Waiting’ first! >
BAITING …
There was something peculiar about that handsome young rake, she thought.
Was it his hair, his clothes, the way he moved? And such an intense amber stare.
She shook her head and banished such trifles – he WAS extremely charming!
In spite of herself, she bit her lip, smiled a secret fantasy.
Abruptly, an owl hooted. The girl shivered, pulling the red lambs wool tighter.
Soon, it would be dusk and already the shadows were lengthening.
The cosy dwelling beckoned.
There. She almost missed it; a flash of bonnet strings between the shutters.
Her heart swelled. Grandma was waiting.
It was mime.
< I couldn’t help it, SJ, somehow, this seemed to write itself in a lunch hour. ;P;P
And, miraculously, 100 dead on! >
Link back to Julia’s Place
http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2011/11/28/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week-21/
Welcome to the Ventahl Theatre 
Cheeky! Love it though – think we make a great team! I’m just wondering now whether I should go back and change my “she’s” to “he’s”. I did have a male character in my first draft, and then decided a lady wolf would work better. Hmmmm…what to do, what to do.
Well done for sticking to the word count btw!!!!
I changed it back to a male.
🙂
Just waiting for the story from the basket’s point of view now! Reminds me of the film Rashomon by Kurosawa, where the same story is told three times once each from the point of view of each of the three main protagonists!
LOL. You have a point, Colin. Do you want to write it? And link to both me and SJ? I’m busy now, but might give it a go Saturday morning.
I love/hate the false sense of security, the anticipation of Grandma waiting. Sorry I don’t understand the ‘it was mime’. I’ll come back later and see if anyone else mentions it.
Sorry, it was an in joke, between me and SJ. She mentioned ‘It was time’ in hers. I was just mimicking her, tongue in cheek 🙂
I didn’t get the in-joke either (still don’t– it takes one out of the story abruptly), but I liked the description, the construction of this. The third paragraph sang.
Point taken, Sparks 😀 but must give credit where credits due though – that third paragraph is a parody of SJs. Her piece mentions “He almost missed it; a flash of red between the trees” and her take is called ‘Waiting’ so the last sentence of that paragraph, and the title for that matter, is a nod and a dig in her direction. Hence ‘It was mime’. But ignore it, just me being obtuse >;)
Cheeky post ! Cleverly done. This idea would never have popped into my head. Much more fun than the traditional version. ( I like the idea of writing from different points of view…)
Well, couldn’t think of an original idea on my own, could I, Anna? 🙂 Maybe I should have ended it “It was time.” Or just dropped it altogether, as sparks suggested. If I wasn’t in such an insolent mood last Tuesday, I would probably have just done the latter. Seems to work though. Thanks for your nod.
I think you should change it to “It’s a crime” for your blatant plagiarism!
A million laughs! 😀 I’ll be doing ‘time’ at this rate. Hey, how ’bout ‘Its in rhyme’ instead – groan? Good job ur the forgiving sort 😕 😕
I think that perhaps one week , we should write the same story from different viewpoints. That would be a pretty exciting thing to do!
Loved your take on it, mirroring SJ’s 🙂
by we, I mean we all should.
What a great idea, Jim. Story would have to have quite a few characters/items/perspectives so that everyone can write from a different viewpoint. Maybe a picture prompt with a LOT going on so that everyone has plenty of scope.
I thought it was funny! And with has it’s place in even the most serious of writing meme’s – I’m sure Julia would agree! 😮
May have started a trend! Glad you dropped by ….:D
Very cleverly done. Really enjoyed this x
I wonder if colin has written from the basket perspective yet?
Aim to please, Susan 🙂
Now that’s what I like – everyone supporting each other! I really like this piece on it’s own. It is descriptive & brings your reader in. Linking it to S-J’s is masterful! I will take this forward for another prompt!