100 word assignment – WEEK 12 (second submission)

EURO MELTDOWN FEAR – THE FACTS

The government has just announced details of a mysterious psychological condition sweeping European cities. The illness primarily affects investment bankers and stockbrokers although anyone who owns even a small number of shares is also at risk.

The neurological imbalance  is characterized by debilitating facial spasms and wild eye-rolling, whenever markets take a downward turn, followed by an obsessive compulsive desire to sell ones investments using a mobile. Ever more frantic gesticulations lead ultimately to severe depression, head trauma and unconsciousness.

The public are encouraged to approach affected individuals with extreme prejudice, using a rolled Financial Times whenever possible.

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9 thoughts on “100 word assignment – WEEK 12 (second submission)

  1. Fantastic! I can see you have tongue firmly in cheek, but you have still managed to capture the style of a serious piece of journalism. I can’t pick a favourite bit – there’s something I love about every sentence and I can really picture in my head the poor unfortunates suffering from this condition!

    • This one is all mine as I read the hilarious Disney entry and thought “Hmm, if meltdown could be interpreted that way, why not fear?”. Still a hard slog though, no doubt about it.

  2. I was very pleased to find this web-site.I wanted to thanks for your time for this wonderful read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.

    • Thanks sparks, no ambitions to be a journalist though, think all my stuff would be like this. Bit too tongue in cheek for most editors! Might be able to get away with being a columnist, though …

    • Cheers susan, but not going to stay up that late again. Think I’ll just jot down a few notes and roll back to sleep. There is something to be said for just sleeping on a prompt (ie Monday night) 🙂

  3. You are brilli8ant! This has made me laugh out loud! You have set the tone brilliantly of a higher end newspaper whilst being the ridiculous of the red tops! Fab!

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