100 word assignment – WEEK 21

IMPORTANT: Read ‘Waiting’ first! >

BAITING …
There was something peculiar about that handsome young rake, she thought.
Was it his hair, his clothes, the way he moved? And such an intense amber stare.
She shook her head and banished such trifles – he WAS extremely charming!
In spite of herself, she bit her lip, smiled a secret fantasy.

Abruptly, an owl hooted. The girl shivered, pulling the red lambs wool tighter.
Soon, it would be dusk and already the shadows were lengthening.
The cosy dwelling beckoned.

There. She almost missed it; a flash of bonnet strings between the shutters.
Her heart swelled. Grandma was waiting.

It was mime.

I couldn’t help it, SJ, somehow, this seemed to write itself in a lunch hour. ;P;P
And, miraculously, 100 dead on! >

Link back to Julia’s Place
http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2011/11/28/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week-21/

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22 thoughts on “100 word assignment – WEEK 21

  1. Cheeky! Love it though – think we make a great team! I’m just wondering now whether I should go back and change my “she’s” to “he’s”. I did have a male character in my first draft, and then decided a lady wolf would work better. Hmmmm…what to do, what to do.

  2. Just waiting for the story from the basket’s point of view now! Reminds me of the film Rashomon by Kurosawa, where the same story is told three times once each from the point of view of each of the three main protagonists!

    • Point taken, Sparks :D but must give credit where credits due though – that third paragraph is a parody of SJs. Her piece mentions “He almost missed it; a flash of red between the trees” and her take is called ‘Waiting’ so the last sentence of that paragraph, and the title for that matter, is a nod and a dig in her direction. Hence ‘It was mime’. But ignore it, just me being obtuse >;)

    • Well, couldn’t think of an original idea on my own, could I, Anna? :) Maybe I should have ended it “It was time.” Or just dropped it altogether, as sparks suggested. If I wasn’t in such an insolent mood last Tuesday, I would probably have just done the latter. Seems to work though. Thanks for your nod.

  3. I think that perhaps one week , we should write the same story from different viewpoints. That would be a pretty exciting thing to do!

    Loved your take on it, mirroring SJ’s :)

  4. Now that’s what I like – everyone supporting each other! I really like this piece on it’s own. It is descriptive & brings your reader in. Linking it to S-J’s is masterful! I will take this forward for another prompt!

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